Dr. Andy Fata-Chan

I’m reading a phenomenal book right now called ‘The Mountain Is You‘ by Briana West.

It’s a great read and I agree with a lot of what she has to say like this point she made in her book:

Your new life is going to cost you your old one.

It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction.

It’s going to cost you relationships and friends.

It’s going to cost you being liked and understood.

It doesn’t matter.

The people who are meant for you are going to meet you on the other side. You’re going to build a new comfort zone around the things that actually move you forward.

Instead of being liked, you’re going to be loved. Instead of being understood, you’re going to be seen.

All you’re going to lose is what was built for a person you no longer are.

Remaining attached to your old life is the first and final act of self-sabotage, and releasing it is what we must prepare for to truly be willing to see real change.

If I agree with her on most of what she says in the book, you might be wondering why I said there is no mountain.

Let’s start off with how I came to actually reading this book.

My approach for anything has been the fire hydrant of information approach.

I don’t typically dip my toes into the water, I always dive head first.

And I dove in.

Honestly, I should learn how to swim but that’s a conversation for another day.

When I started off with a business coach a few years ago, I also started reading a ton of business books, listening to business podcast, and had as many conversations with people that knew things about business.

If you’ve gone into business, it’s like learning a new language.

And what’s the best way to learn a language?

Immersion.

I started seeing a mental health and performance coach once a week for the past few months, those one hour calls drastically changed the trajectory of my life.

So, I supplemented them with reading books, listening to podcast, and writing what I’m learning(like I’m doing now) on the topic so I can further solidify these neural synapses.

Something I’ve come to realize is that most of the things that happen to us are seen in this binary context of win or lose, good or bad, etc.

The only problem is that we don’t know the ripple effects of what’s happening at this very moment.

The only thing we can rely on is our judgement based off of our belief systems and those are usually flawed since they aren’t inherently things that we truly believe but what others have taught us from a young age.

I was going to add personal experiences on top of belief systems but experiences are shaped by our belief systems.

I’ll expand on this a bit more later.

How many “bad” things happen to us that end up being “good”?

Maybe your usual marketing strategy tanked during the launch of your mentorship where you only get 3 sign-ups the first day.

This is opposed to the double digits that you normally get so you ended up trying new things and filling up the new cohort with those strategies.

This just happened to me and now I have a new way of doing things that wouldn’t have occurred without a bad thing happening to me.

How many “good” things happen to us that end up being “bad”?

You meet someone and you hit it off, the honeymoon phase is unbelievable and you’re already telling your friends that this is the one.

You’re falling in love before you start to realize the things that start to come out after time has passed.

That initial relationship that seemed so pure ended up being extremely toxic for both parties.

At the very beginning, it was the best thing that could have ever happened.

At the very end, it was the worse thing that could have ever happened.

Two examples and if you don’t resonate with either, maybe this parable will help.

Here’s a story of a farmer and a horse:

There was a farmer in a small village with a single horse who helped him earn a living for his family. The other villagers constantly told the farmer how lucky he was to have such a great horse.

”Maybe,” he would reply.

One day, the horse ran away. The villagers came to the farmer to express their sympathies.

”Your horse ran away. How unfortunate!“ the villagers exclaimed.

”Maybe,” the farmer replied.

A few days later, the horse returned home, with ten strong wild horses in tow.

”What good fortune. What incredible luck,” the villagers crowed.

”Maybe,” the farmer again replied.

The following week, the farmer’s son was riding one of the wild horses in the fields, when it kicked him off and broke his leg.

The villagers arrived to express their dismay.

”What dismal luck,” they said.

”Maybe,” the farmer replied.

The next month, a military officer marched into the village, recruiting able-bodied young men for the war. The farmer’s son, with his broken leg, was left behind.

The villagers were joyful, “Your son has been spared. What beautiful luck!”

The farmer simply smiled.

”Maybe.”

The farmer isn’t attaching emotion to what’s happening, he sees it for what it is.

An event.

That’s what I currently struggle with, I’m working on not seeing complex things in such a binary way.

Win or lose.

Good or bad.

Changing from “something is happening to me” to “something is happening for me”.

Changing from “why does this keep happening to me” to “where is the lesson that I’ve yet to learn”.

Changing from “that’s just who I am” to “why do I do what I do“.

Most things are not actually binary.

They are only that way because of our belief systems.

And that’s the metaphorical mountain…

Our belief systems.

It’s not the things that happen to us that slowly kills us overtime.

It’s our perception of those things that are happening to us.

The people that aren’t shaken to their core whenever they encounter adversity understand this fundamental concept.

Everything is an opportunity.

A lesson to be learned.

A skill to be developed.

So if everything that happens to us is an opportunity.

Is there really a mountain?

There is no mountain.